welcome to my little corner of the WebTM! it's a bit shabby right now, apologies, but i've just been handed it and i hadn't found the proper tools yet (so to speak)... but i promise, i'm going to make it a bit more cosy in the future (some colour wouldn't hurt, right?). in the meantime, make yourself comfortable and let me introduce myself
my name is koszmarek, i turn 23 this year (coincidentally, that number is also a symbol of a very cool music genre ;) ). i'm going to sound pretentious as all hell (as if i hadn't already), but who gives a toss: the true love of my life is beauty in all it's forms, the most prominent being music and the visual arts. i had asked myself many times if i'd rather go blind or deaf and i could never truly choose the lesser evil, so i consider them both equally essential - though right now my interest seems to steer more in the direction of music, as i've been just obsessed with exploring the abundant and intoxicating world of EDM in the last couple of months.
the other longstanding passion of mine is all things clothing and textile related, from the otherwordly street-styles of modern age Japan, to the prehistoric methods of spinning yarn, i could never give up fashion (trust me, i've tried). if this is a hostage situation, then it's a very bright and cheerful one. lately i've been dressing mostly like a rabid preschooler on acid.
i found this space and came up with an idea to make it something inbetween a diary, an altar and a love letter. to record my thoughts and various elements of reality that reflect beauty and God. maybe i'll post some of my little creations here too.
hope you'll enjoy your moment here, that in the future you'll find something of interest in what i'll write or photograph. if you're a human being, i love you
a day of many adventures. although it's weird to call it a "day", because i've stayed up until almost six am and woke up at dinner time (that is, polish "obiad", which is usually eaten around 3pm). so it's more like a night-and-a-bit-of-an-evening-and then-also-night. i'll be damned if i ever have a semi normal sleeping schedule.
after midnight i've mostly done my fair share of online window shopping aka looking for beautiful objects that i can't afford, thus making myself even more miserable (god bless the seethers). i've also dopamine-maxxed by simultaneously listening to some youtube video i had saved on my "watch later" list, but the topic didn't really interest me that much. i propably shouldn't have done that, it felt like i was properly frying my brain. sometimes i am the unfortunate product of my own times.
later i've decided to explore other neocities websites a bit and to put it simply: I"VE BEEN AMAZED,, I'VE BEEN SHAKEN, LIFE SIMPLY ISN'T AS IT WAS BEFORE!!!! i truly felt a rush of enormous love for humanity and our tremendous creativity as i watched what others had done with their sites. i hadn't really experienced that level of excitement by the internet since i was about 10 or so? i remember going to my grandmother's house, logging onto my grandpa's laptop and spending hours just looking at wikipedia articles, playing flash games or simply collecting images of stuff i was into, like idk, rayman or cows lmao. the web felt so new, so infinite, full of mysteries and secrets yet to be uncovered. another miracle seemed to hide just around the corner. then, around the start of middle school that feeling wore off. i can even recall sort of a specific moment in time when i thought to myself "oh. i think i've seen everything that's cool on the net." that was maybe when i first started lurking on 4chan.
so it was such an incredible suprise to catch myself jumping frantically from one site to the other, as if i discovered a treasure trove again. a huge present from God.
i had my usual coffee in the kitchen, where i listened to some abhorrent polish rapper with my flatmates. after that i retreated back to my room, listened to some music, got dressed (today's theme was slavic witch, so i donned my beautiful black floral chusta and usual velvets and meshes. the pink from my chusta matched the pink soles on my DC trainers, which i enjoyed thoroughly) and simply did nothing while waiting for my friends to get ready to go to IKEA.
tbc tomorrow, i think i need to go sleepies sozzz
so i didn't write anything more about that day. oh well. i'm not sure if i want to do that so fuck it. today was my first day off in quite a while. i slept a ton, since i had pulled an all nighter the night before (the things this shitty retail job makes me do). i dressed in a wacky outfit and went with my friends to the supermarket first in the "morning". we were looking for a very specific ben jerry's cookie dough dupe and we found it!!!! also right in the entrance there were some little vending machines with toys in them. i got two little toilets with glitter shit in them for a fiver (i'm propably going to make them into a pair of earrings) and a yellow bouncy ball to start my collection. oh, and some mint choco chip ice cream too, i ate it while sitting in our hammock (for the first time this spring!)
my friend got me a proper bed frame (so nice of him!! and he helped me set it up to!), which has upgraded my overall life comfort a ton (it's nice not sleeping on the literal floor and it makes my room feel less like a fucking traphouse). i cleaned up my room, but i still have so much clutter that i don't know what to do with. it's part sentimental, part aesthetic and part trash. i'll propably do a massive decluttering session soon, esp because i still have some stuff back in my hometown that i need to bring here. there was a time when i wanted to live out of one backpack, but then i kind of spiralled mentally and began buying shit again and forming attachments to material objects again. maybe sometime i'll dive deeper into this subject, rn i don't have the mental capacity for it (i tend to say that a lot, don't i? as i am quite dissociated.
today's musical discoveries:
Hiiii!:3 Listen to a cool song!
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